Those who’ll win are those who are driven by love rather than hate, by passion rather than anger, by success rather than revenge. Those who’ll win are those who will take the high road, who will admit their mistakes, and who will offer their forgiveness. Those who’ll win are those who learn to accept the finality of the past and the uncertainty of the future. Those who’ll win are those who fight for something rather than against something and who measure their success by what they have rather than what they don’t. Those who’ll win are those who believe they can, but still put the work in. You can be a winner too.
Sometimes our mind is clouded by misery and we just can’t seem to shake it. It’s like we’re magnetised to the feeling and it keeps dragging us closer and closer to it, and we can’t seem to stop it. It’s going to be ok. It’s going to be more than ok. It’s going to get better. Whatever the stress, the anxiety, the sadness, the hurt, the anger, you will get through it one way or another. You just can’t give into the pull that keeps dragging you down. You have to try to escape its grasp. Because you will escape it, as long as you keep trying. It’s going to be ok. It’s going to be more than ok. It’s going to get better.
Hate is a deceiving emotion. We often think it makes us feel powerful, mighty and fierce. But hate is devious, manipulative and subtle. It slowly clouds over your mind. It slowly weighs you down. And it slowly eats away at your heart. Hate is a burden we carry without properly realising. It never does as much damage to another as it does to ourselves. Try practicing love instead. And I don’t only mean love in the traditional sense of kindness and passion. But also forgiveness, and if not forgiveness then acceptance, and if not acceptance then tolerance. Try practicing love with yourself as much as with others. It works wonders.
Sometimes we have to push ourselves. And sometimes we have to pay the price. Stress isn’t all bad; it can spark our mind and body into action in response to a problem or situation. But high levels of stress can have the opposite effect, causing our mind and body to shut down in isolation, fear, lethargy, anger, and depression. Stress shouldn’t ever be a positive indicator to demonstrate how hard we’re working. Stress shouldn’t ever become a shadow that haunts us. It’s much more valuable to look after ourselves. It’s ok to take a breath to sit, to think, to re-prioritise, to re-energise. We’re designed to need a rest. It’s ok to admit that we cannot do everything. We cannot place these pressures on ourselves. It doesn’t make us weak or incapable. Stress will make us weak and incapable in the long term. Don’t let it break you.
People sometimes push the wrong buttons. And fiercely, anger overtakes us, jealousy engulfs us or hurt consumes us. Whilst we should never feel ashamed of these feelings, hanging onto them indefinitely only harms us. We may try to convince ourselves that these emotions only reflect other people and their character, but really they just begin to define who we are. Don’t let someone’s stupidity, insensitivity or wrongdoings pollute you. Don’t let them steal away your focus, faith, happiness and optimism. Because otherwise, it’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
We can all get heated in the moment. We can easily spit out words in anger, hate, tiredness or sadness. Sometimes it’s the only way to get the point across. But life is so unexpected. We all know it, yet we tell ourselves that bad things won’t happen to us. We’ll just say sorry tomorrow. Or we just won’t speak to them until they apologise. But something might happen. Don’t forget the bigger picture. Remember to say words of kindness, forgiveness, and love to those you care about. Tell the people you truly care about that you love them. Don’t let your last words with them be of anger or hate. Because tomorrow, you might not be able to take it back.
We all have limitations. We all have fears and worries. We all have things that trigger our anger and frustration. We all have gaps in our perceptions, understanding and knowledge. But walls are only in the mind. We’ll never be perfect. We’ll never know everything. And that’s okay. But we can always be better. Even if it’s just at coping. We can push the limits and break down our limitations. We just need to choose to. We need to be willing to work on ourselves and grow. We set our own limitations. And we can knock them down too.
It is obvious that we will never agree with everybody. We won’t understand their choices, their allegiances, and their behaviour. Our perspectives are coloured by our circumstances. But there is no need to be aggressive, disrespectful or disdainful towards these people. Because where does that get us? Do we think so highly of ourselves and our opinions? We end up spreading bitterness, distrust, conflict, misery and regret, when we should be nurturing compassion, kindness, tolerance, respect and support. Choose your words carefully. Be conscious of the acts you make against others. Because you will never regret being kind.
The initial reaction…
Frustration, anger and irritation can be consuming emotions that are hard to grasp immediately. Some of us can benefit from chatting with someone about the problem that is bothering us. They can be productive in allowing us to safely let off steam and find some perspective about the situation. But we also need to be mindful that we are not releasing all our pent-up, negative energy on others destructively, especially innocent people. If you find it hard to control your emotions, try taking some solitary time. Get outside and take a walk, release your energy through exercise, relax by taking a bath, listening to music or meditating, whatever it is that helps you calm down before speaking to others.
Let it go but face the problem…
These emotions are all rooted in an apparent or underlying problem. We need to learn to let them go after some time has passed, whether naturally or more consciously, so that they do not begin to control our lives in ways that limit us. Only then can we begin to answer these questions: what is it that is bothering me? Is this an understandable or irrational reaction? What can I do about this problem? Don’t be ashamed of your behaviour and don’t bury your feelings away. Break it down. Create a plan. Talk to people calmly and effectively. Be honest and be fair. Be self aware. Be forgiving if the situation warrants it or remove yourself from negative circumstances. Seek forgiveness and find what you need. Look at those emotions from the inside and outside. Move on. See the humour and see the beauty.
We are all human and it is natural to get frustrated, angry and irritated from time to time! What are the ways you handle these emotions?
I think there are two types of anger: the productive and the unproductive. And unfortunately they overlap in their make up. All situations that make you angry have the potential to be either. The only differentiating factor is how you use anger and how you let it hold you. The key is not to be lead by anger because that is when we make mistakes, when we do things we regret and when we become filled with hate. When you are angry, you need to take a step back from the situation and breathe. But anger can be constructive too. Instead of becoming full of anger, you can transform that anger into passion and determination to combat injustices or to stand up for what you believe or to stand up for your own abilities and yourself. It’s always important to think a little bit when we’re angry because we might be surprised by what we find.