The nice-to-haves but not need-to-haves: approval, the next big thing, a particular type of education, endless time, outcomes that exceed expectations, a title. You can do anything you put your mind to, no matter who you are or what you have. Only you are in control of your success, your happiness, your life. Don’t put it in the hands of others. Just do you.
Some people will not say thank you, say well done or say congratulations. Some people will not acknowledge how hard we try, how much time we put in or how much we sacrifice. Some people will not accept us for who we are and will pick at our imperfections. Some people suck. But we don’t need them. We shouldn’t rely on others to validate what we do or who we are. We need to be that source of inspiration, encouragement and love for ourselves. We know who we are and decide what we do, and we don’t need anyone else to tell us that we’re beautiful, hardworking and loved. Don’t let anyone make you doubt yourself. Love yourself and believe in yourself.
Sometimes we underestimate the fact that we can do whatever we want. We easily start confusing what we want with what other people want, until it morphs into something repressive. We want to please those we love. We want to provide for those we care about. We want approval from our peers. And that’s ok if other people aren’t our sole focus. Because people shouldn’t dictate what we can do and what we can’t do. People shouldn’t confine us with labels and rules. People shouldn’t make us feel small or inferior. They might try. But we don’t have to let them. And really, it’s whatever we want to do that will shine onto the world and make everyone else glow too.
On our journey, we pick up a lot of baggage. Sometimes it can get too much to carry. Sometimes we’ve just got to leave some of it behind. So here are three things that we should learn to let go of as soon as possible:
1. Perfection –
Whether we want the perfect life, the perfect partner, the perfect body or whether we project the expectation of perfection onto every piece of work we do, we are destined to be disappointed. Of course it’s beautiful to dream, to have prospects, to strive further, but we have to understand that we’re human and that life is unexpected. Perfection isn’t an option in most cases. If we keep pretending it is, we won’t ever feel satisfied with ourselves or the world. And that would be a real shame.
2. Approval –
The contradictory truth is that we are always influenced by the people around us and we want others to like us but it is virtually impossible to please everyone whilst also pleasing ourselves. It’s cliche, but we only have one life to live. If we want to do something, we should do it, regardless of anyone’s opinion. Approval should be an added bonus rather than a requirement. Better yet, instead of seeking approval, seek people who are supportive, non-judgemental and love you for who you are.
3. Excuses –
It’s so easy to put off, to procrastinate, to laze around and to make excuses about why we can’t do something or why we shouldn’t do something. But excuses won’t get us anywhere, not with our relationships and not with our goals. We need to be moving forward, how ever slowly. Act on that instinct, that inspiration, that idea. Don’t wait around, because whilst we’re sitting around, time is still flying by. And we won’t be able to catch up.
What do you think we should let go of? What are you learning to let go of? Please leave them in the comments below!