We have a tendency to over complicate our lives. We overanalyse and misinterpret our own and other people’s feelings, opinions, words, actions, and behaviours. We obsessively compare ourselves to others and the expectations of our culture. We hang onto the past to bring ourselves down. But all it leads to is heartache and insecurity. Life can be simpler, if we let go of the chains we’re carrying around. Sometimes it’s just seeing the best in people, seeing the best in yourself, and seeing the best in the world. Sometimes it’s just living life the way that makes you happy. Simple.
Our relationships shouldn’t be the means by which we climb up the ladder, the means by which we snatch more into our pockets, or the means by which we raise our superiority. Whilst the foundation of our relationships should be a balance between giving and receiving, we shouldn’t treat people in relation to their ability to give. Some people give their everything. Some people take all and give nothing. Some people have very little to give, but that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t if they could. Not every relationship or encounter is something to be gained from. Sometimes it’s purely about being honourable and kind towards another person, regardless of what we see in return.
It can seem easier to make excuses for others, than to confront others and stand up for ourselves. It is easy to make excuses for other people’s behaviour, when we hold low self-esteem. It is easy to place the blame on ourselves and convince ourselves that we somehow deserve it. It is easy to make excuses for others when we are used to apologising for ourselves and adjusting ourselves other people’s moods and wills.
Of course, we should strive to see the good in others and to give people the benefit of the doubt, but it is unhealthy to persist in a relationship where we systematically find ourselves excusing other people’s ignorant, obnoxious and insulting behaviour. It leaves us with a negative outlook of not only our relationships, but of ourselves too. We cannot be afraid of having these feelings and speaking out. If those people cannot be considerate and receptive to our feelings, then we need to re-evaluate their significance in our life. If those people are incapable of change, then we need to change our environment, not our prospects and standards. We deserve better. When we make excuses for others, we are only making excuses against ourselves and a happier life.
“There is no passion to be found playing small, in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living” – Nelson Mandela