Three ways to become who you want to be


Tip One: Look inside

Sometimes we feel lost and look for guidance elsewhere. But ultimately, you’ll know what you want to do and who you want to be. And sometimes you’ll know how you want to get there. Sometimes we get distracted by other people’s plans for us and other people’s opinions about how our lives should be, often sold to us as their wisdom. But you should follow your own heart and instincts. And if you mess up, that’s ok – at least you’re being yourself and being true to who you are.

Tip Two: Stop comparing yourself to others

By all means, get inspiration from others and have role models to look up to. But remember that nobody’s path will be the same as yours and you’ll never be able to follow the footsteps of someone else. Comparing yourself with others will only highlight the flaws and gaps, that aren’t actually a bad thing. Forge your own path, take the road less travelled and focus on bettering yourself instead.

Tip Three: Take one step at a time

There may be loads of things you want to work on. Or maybe there’s just a couple. But you won’t change everything over night. Take your time and plan your time. Be realistic. Focus on one thing at a time and create a plan for it. Build a habit for one thing before incorporating something else. Don’t overwhelm yourself with lifestyle changes and restrictions and so on, because all it will do is push you back into the arms of your old self. 

(Image: zooll.com)

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5 tips to silence negative self-talk

Tip One: Stop comparing yourself to others

It’s said time and time again, but we can’t seem to get away from it. But it’s so counter-productive! We’re all different. Some of us excel in certain things and some of us suck at them. We all have something we’re better at and worse at. We all in different stories, at different chapters, with equally beautiful endings. Start playing to your strengths and working on your weaknesses. Be better than you were yesterday, not better than the other person in the room.

Tip Two: Don’t just think it, say it 

Thinking positively about yourself is harder than it sounds. But if we hear it, maybe we’ll start to listen. Stand in front of the mirror every morning and take a look at what you see. Let yourself know something you love about yourself and say it out loud. Or start the day with a positive affirmation out loud. It may feel weird at the beginning, but it will quickly sink in and transform your mindset.

Tip Three: Look at mistakes as spring boards

Failure and mistakes shouldn’t be looked at as the enemy. They’re actually the key to our success, but only if we act on them in the correct way. Instead of punishing yourself over mistakes you’ve made, focus on what you can learn from them and how you can use those teachings as fuel to greater success. 

Tip Four: Gather some perspective

Sometimes we need to step out of our own heads and look at our situation from the outside. What would your friends say if they knew what you were saying about yourself? What would you say to a friend in a similar situation? Challenge yourself on the negative things you say to yourself and don’t be so hard on yourself. Most of the things we actually beat ourselves up on aren’t a big deal like we’re making them out to be.

Tip Five: Focus on solutions, not just problems

Sometimes we feel like we deserve the negative self-talk. But really it doesn’t do us any favours. When we talk negatively about ourselves, we’re often focusing too much on the problems instead of thinking about what we could do to solve them and thinking about the action. But focusing on the solutions will automatically move your mind to a positive space, and the problem won’t seem as bad.

(Image: Pinterest)

Comparing Ourselves to Others

You are on your own journey

Whichever angle we compare our life to another’s, we are always out of favour. If we see somebody successful, we convince ourselves of all the excuses as to why we could never compete; we are not as smart, motivated, creative, and so on. If we see somebody fail, we use it as proof as to why we could never do better; if someone else cannot do it, we have no chance.

Comparing ourselves to others will get us nowhere. It holds us back and pushes us into the shadows. Our lives aren’t comparable. We all have different circumstances, priorities, ethics, ideas, all of which shape the choices we make and the path we take. We might take different paths to get to the same place or we might start in the same place and end up somewhere completely different. We are all on our own journey, and that is a blessing. Focus on what you are doing and want to do. Don’t just stay in one place, because that isn’t living. Get on the map.

(Image: Created myself using Picmonkey; Picture: reddit.com)