The grass is always greener on the other side. But if you get to the other side, that doesn’t mean your grass will be greener. Because it’s an illusion. People’s lives may seem better to us, but that’s because we’re on the outside looking in. Everyone has problems or weaknesses or hardships, just like we do. We need to focus on our own life and work on our own life, instead of comparing it to others. If we’re too busy look at next door’s grass, then ours is only going to suffer. Appreciate what is right at your feet. If everyone looks after their grass, think what a beautiful world it will be.
Learn from the people smarter than you, instead of comparing yourself to them. Practice with the people stronger than you, instead of competing against them. Work with the people who inspire you, instead of trying to copy them. Keep your eyes open, keep your mind sharp, but keep your heart true. Nobody can be a better you than you.
We might sometimes find ourselves alone. But that doesn’t mean we have to be lonely. Sometimes we have to be our own biggest cheerleader:
- Celebrate your victories – we don’t always give ourselves enough credit when it comes to our achievements, sometimes because we don’t think they’re good enough and other times because we’re too busy thinking about the next big thing. But don’t get into the habit of letting success pass you by. Any victory is one to be celebrated. Praise yourself.
- Cut yourself some slack – we cannot always be our best, let alone always be perfect. Sometimes we’re going to trip up and make a mess. But it’s all a part of life. What matters the most is what we do afterwards. We shouldn’t waste our time beating ourselves up, demotivating ourselves or crushing our self-confidence. Instead, take responsibility, learn a lesson and move on.
- Stop comparing yourself to others and love who you are – we all find it hard to be comfortable with who we are, where we are, and what we have. We look at others and envision a better life if we were more like them. But the truth is, everyone has insecurities and problems. We all have different stories. Focus on your own and you’ll go much further – if you don’t, it will go on without you.
Our decision to believe we can or believe we can’t sets us on significantly altered paths. A lot of the time, we believe we can’t, often because of our past, our cultures, and those around us. But we have to remember that these shouldn’t define what we can accomplish. We’re constantly gaining experience, getting smarter, and evolving. Our culture just portrays things as they are and have been, not necessarily how things should be. And we are all too different to each other to even compare between us. Just because someone else cannot achieve something, doesn’t mean we can’t. If you can conceive something and you can believe in it, then you can achieve it. Don’t let anything or anyone stop you.
Flawesome (adjective): an individual who embraces their flaws and knows they’re awesome regardless.
We have a bad habit of letting our flaws be the way we set ourselves apart from each other. You are so much smarter/prettier/more popular than me. She must think I am such a bad role model. Sometimes our tendency to mix our self perception with other people leads to jealousy and hate and other times to insecurity and self-hate. But we shouldn’t be letting our ‘flaws’ infect our relationships with other people and especially not our relationship with ourselves. Because having flaws might set us apart, but it also makes us who we are. And who we are is awesome. Don’t let anyone, including yourself, tell you otherwise. We all have flaws. And if we keep thinking of them as something bad, we’ll never be able to grow, because we’re too caught up in them. We need to learn to accept them and embrace them. You’re awesome regardless of your flaws. You’re flawesome.
In a time when we’re all exposed to one another online, it’s easy to confuse seeing with knowing. But we shouldn’t assume that glimpses of someone physically or virtually will give us a rounded picture of that person. It’s dangerous to do so, because we’re still oblivious to all the shadows of that person. To conclude that someone’s life is perfect is to ignore that everyone is fighting their own battles. To believe that someone’s life is perfect is to compare their highlights to our lowest points. It’s natural for us to forget that we don’t always know someone. But do not place those perceptions on someone. It will burden you both.
Whichever angle we compare our life to another’s, we are always out of favour. If we see somebody successful, we convince ourselves of all the excuses as to why we could never compete; we are not as smart, motivated, creative, and so on. If we see somebody fail, we use it as proof as to why we could never do better; if someone else cannot do it, we have no chance.
Comparing ourselves to others will get us nowhere. It holds us back and pushes us into the shadows. Our lives aren’t comparable. We all have different circumstances, priorities, ethics, ideas, all of which shape the choices we make and the path we take. We might take different paths to get to the same place or we might start in the same place and end up somewhere completely different. We are all on our own journey, and that is a blessing. Focus on what you are doing and want to do. Don’t just stay in one place, because that isn’t living. Get on the map.
(Image: Created myself using Picmonkey; Picture: reddit.com)