If you witness bullying…

stop bullying

… don’t do nothing. Because doing nothing is still something. And we might not understand the gravity of standing by. Bullying can range from name calling and teasing to violence, intimidation and harassment, and can manifest at school, at work, or online. So if we do witness bullying, here are a few ways of doing something about it:

  1. Don’t make assumptions about the bully’s motives or the victim’s feelings. It might seem as if the bully’s words are meant as a harmless joke and it might seem as if the victim brushes them off, but that may not be the case. And even if it is, that’s not an excuse to ignore it.
  2. Don’t encourage the bully. It might be tempting to laugh at a bully’s remarks or gossip about someone behind they’re back, in an attempt to fit in or avoid being bullied ourselves, but if we keep encouraging it, we keep normalising it. And bullying has too serious consequences to ignore.
  3. Call it out. If you see the bully in action, in person or online, and you feel safe enough to do so, confront them. Sometimes a bully needs their sense of power to be stripped away. They can thrive on the idea that nobody can stop them. Tell them that they’re wrong. But be careful not to confuse calling out the bully with becoming a bully yourself.
  4. If standing up to the bully is too frightening, focus on the victim instead. Ask them how they are. Listen to them. Offer them the support they ask for. Befriend them. Invite them to sit with you at lunch times. Whatever you can do to make them feel less alone. There’s strength in numbers and it gives the bullied something to look forward to in a usually hostile environment.
  5. Tell someone. Sometimes we might lack authority over the bully, for example if we’re classmates or colleagues. We need find help from someone else, like a teacher or someone in human resources – whoever you feel comfortable talking to and who you can trust. Just make sure you’re sensitive and careful about anything you share about the victim.

Got any other advice? Leave it in the comments!

For more advice on dealing with bullying, visit this post: http://wp.me/p2Q5YU-3C

(Image: Tumblr)

Advertisements

There’s no such thing as a stupid question

dumb-questions cartoon

Words like ‘stupid’, ‘dumb’ and ‘simple’ should be expressed sparingly, especially when used to describe people and their actions. We don’t all see the world the same way and we haven’t all experienced the world in the same way, so naturally we all have different perspectives and different pieces of knowledge. I have found recently, from friendship circles to professional environments, that people often laugh or sneer at others who ask questions. It can become daunting and intimidating to ask a question again for fear of humiliation in front of others or for fear of a lowering of respect from peers.

But be courageous and ask the question anyway. Asking questions reveals interest, curiosity and enthusiasm, and uncovers a desire to understand and know more; we should never ridicule others for asking questions or feel nervous about asking a question, no matter how stupid we think it might sound. Asking questions means we’re learning, learning to see different perspectives and piece information together, and that is such an important element to grasp in life. If the other person is too close-minded to see that, then their opinion is not worth your time. People who ask questions are the ones who will get the most answers in more ways than one.