When we’re aware of what brings us down, we can let it go and watch ourselves rise up.
The energy outside affects the energy inside. People who complain all the time, people who blame you for their problems, people who bring you down, people who laugh at your dreams, people absorbed in their own worlds, people who always take and never give, these are all toxic people, if they do it consistently. People who do not add any love or joy to your life aren’t worth keeping. It isn’t selfish to cut them out, take a break, or limit the time you see them.
Other people’s opinions
We’re haunted by other people’s words, opinions and thoughts. Maybe we want to please someone. Maybe we think someone knows better. Maybe we feel we don’t have a choice. But if we’re never listening to our own heart, we’ll never feel truly satisfied, content or excited about life. We’ll add water to the seeds of regret, bitterness and misery. Do what makes you happy; even if it doesn’t always work out, at least you’re following your own path.
Self-limiting and self-doubt
Many of us struggle with low self-confidence. In fact, we could probably argue that it’s nowadays a part of life, at one stage or another. We’re afraid of failure. We punish ourselves for mistakes. We think we’re not good enough or bright enough or beautiful enough. But it’s all in our head. You are good enough. You have to find that belief, that faith, that courage buried inside and see how much your outlook changes.
Trying to fit in
Finding someone to talk about is an ancient pastime; we often gossip to fit in, to connect with a group of people and exclude someone else. On the flip side, we’re afraid to be that person who is excluded. We compare ourselves to others, always trying to erase the things that make us different. We focus on what’s ‘wrong’ with ourselves and what we don’t have. Trying to fit in breeds self-doubt and self-loathing, which leads to negativity. Instead try embracing and loving yourself and doing the same for others.
(Image: created myself)
In life, we end up spending too much time trying to connect the dots plotted out for us. Instead, we should be brave enough to draw outside the predetermined lines. For many of us, progress, happiness and success fall outside those lines. So don’t be afraid to get a little messy, roam with no set destination, or go off on a tangent. Trust your instincts and trust your heart. When we finally learn that there are no lines that bind us, we finally see that happiness, success and progress are not found along them, but beyond them.
When we let go, we free ourselves. When we let go of expectations, we free ourselves of disappointment. When we let go of what people think, we free ourselves of boundaries and limitations. When we let go of our fear of failing, we open ourselves up to memorable and life changing experiences. When we let go of unhealthy relationships, we open ourselves up to self-worth and self-love. Let go of the anchor tying you down to the seabed, and float to the surface. Don’t live in reflections and darkness, but soak up the light and breathe in that fresh gulp of air.
Even though we often tend to relive it, we ultimately cannot change the past. And whilst punishing ourselves seems to fit what we think we deserve, we need to learn to forgive ourselves. Because without forgiveness, there’s no moving forward and then there’s no future. We should always forgive ourselves for our mistakes, but here are a few times when we definitely should:
- When we let other people down – sometimes we have to do what’s best for us. And sometimes that’s borne out of things beyond our control. We cannot always please everyone and satisfy our own passions and dreams at the same time. At the end of the day, we have one life and we have to live it.
- When we trust the wrong person – we cannot see the inner workings of another person. So we cannot expect ourselves to know another’s intentions or predict another’s actions. Trust might be hard to hand out again next time, but don’t give up on it, because relationships are beautiful. They mean you’re living and not hiding.
- When we think we should be perfect – we set high expectations of ourselves, even if they’ve been created by somebody else. We all have limitations that we either need to accept or overcome. Don’t be so harsh on yourself. It’s ok to mess up. That’s how we get better.
- When we gave up on something – we all have times when we give up on something for a particular reason, whether temporary or permanent. And later on, we might come to regret that. But it’s never too late to start on an old or a new ambition. Learn a lesson from the last experience and push past that hurdle this time.
There is no sense in punishing your future for the mistakes of your past. Forgive yourself, grow from it, and then let it go.
What do you need to get better at forgiving yourself for?
The only place where we are truly confined is in our own mind. And because of this, we often don’t realise that in our mind lies the key to our visions of success, happiness, and love. To find everything we want, we have to be open to it. We have to free our mind. We have to believe in the possibility. We have to let go of insecurities. We have to exceed expectations. We have to be willing to take chances. We have to stop building those walls that limit, restrict, and block us. Tear the existing ones down. You can handle a lot more than you give yourself credit for.
We all have limitations. We all have fears and worries. We all have things that trigger our anger and frustration. We all have gaps in our perceptions, understanding and knowledge. But walls are only in the mind. We’ll never be perfect. We’ll never know everything. And that’s okay. But we can always be better. Even if it’s just at coping. We can push the limits and break down our limitations. We just need to choose to. We need to be willing to work on ourselves and grow. We set our own limitations. And we can knock them down too.