It’s alarming to think how much time we waste worrying about what has happened and what hasn’t happened. We overanalyse our past behaviour and wish we’d done something differently. We overcomplicate our future by expecting the worst scenario. We breed turmoil, anxiety and insecurity, most of which is completely unnecessary. Worst of all, we rob and deprive ourselves of the happiness we hope to have today, because our worrying encroaches on and stains anything in it’s path. We shouldn’t ignore our problems, but there is usually an appropriate time to deal with the problem or to let go and move on. Worrying really doesn’t accomplish anything.
One of the hardest choices we make is consciously deciding to let go and move on. And it’s hard because sometimes it doesn’t feel like a choice; we’re so inundated with memories and emotions that we feel too overwhelmed and out of control to move on.
We might unwillingly replay and relive memories, however much we try to suppress them. We deeply overanalyse situations, and wonder whether we should or could have done something differently. We might keep trying because we want to believe that things can change for the better where we are. Life isn’t always in our control; we can’t change the past and we can’t always change situations or people.
Sometimes the bravest action is to let go and move on. I can’t advise on the right time, but I trust that we will all feel it, even if it is caught up in doubt and confusion. We shouldn’t be torturing ourselves, with the past or the present. Let go of painful memories of suffering, regret, humiliation or whatever haunts you. Let go of toxic relationships and suffocating places that bind you. They are escapable if we value ourselves and allow ourselves. Have faith in the future, and move onto better things.
“Write it on your heart
that every day is the best day in the year.
He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day
who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety.
Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt crept in.
Forget them as soon as you can, tomorrow is a new day;
begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit
to be cumbered with your old nonsense.
This new day is too dear,
with its hopes and invitations,
to waste a moment on the yesterdays.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson from Collected Poems and Translations