When we’re aware of what brings us down, we can let it go and watch ourselves rise up.
The energy outside affects the energy inside. People who complain all the time, people who blame you for their problems, people who bring you down, people who laugh at your dreams, people absorbed in their own worlds, people who always take and never give, these are all toxic people, if they do it consistently. People who do not add any love or joy to your life aren’t worth keeping. It isn’t selfish to cut them out, take a break, or limit the time you see them.
Other people’s opinions
We’re haunted by other people’s words, opinions and thoughts. Maybe we want to please someone. Maybe we think someone knows better. Maybe we feel we don’t have a choice. But if we’re never listening to our own heart, we’ll never feel truly satisfied, content or excited about life. We’ll add water to the seeds of regret, bitterness and misery. Do what makes you happy; even if it doesn’t always work out, at least you’re following your own path.
Self-limiting and self-doubt
Many of us struggle with low self-confidence. In fact, we could probably argue that it’s nowadays a part of life, at one stage or another. We’re afraid of failure. We punish ourselves for mistakes. We think we’re not good enough or bright enough or beautiful enough. But it’s all in our head. You are good enough. You have to find that belief, that faith, that courage buried inside and see how much your outlook changes.
Trying to fit in
Finding someone to talk about is an ancient pastime; we often gossip to fit in, to connect with a group of people and exclude someone else. On the flip side, we’re afraid to be that person who is excluded. We compare ourselves to others, always trying to erase the things that make us different. We focus on what’s ‘wrong’ with ourselves and what we don’t have. Trying to fit in breeds self-doubt and self-loathing, which leads to negativity. Instead try embracing and loving yourself and doing the same for others.
(Image: created myself)
Don’t let anyone tell you what to do with your life. Don’t let anyone tell you what to do with your body. Don’t let anyone tell you what to do with your money. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not beautiful. Don’t let anyone tell you you won’t be successful. Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t do something. Don’t let someone tell you you’re smaller than them. Your life is your life. Your heart, your opinions, you passion, your voice should be the one you listen to above the noise of everyone else’s.
It’s time to take control of your life. Time won’t stop ticking on. People won’t stop opening their mouths. The world won’t stop to hand everything to you. We have to dream and pursue and work and keep going. There’s no one else who can live your life for you, whether you think they do or think they can. You’re in the driver’s seat. It’s time to put your hands on the wheel.
Your worth is not your beauty. It’s not the number of inches around your waist. It’s not your intellect. It’s not the number in your bank account. It’s not your mistakes or your past. You’re more than labels and boxes and opinions. You always deserve to give yourself another chance. You always deserve to be loved and to love yourself. You always deserve to choose who you are and where you want to go. Your worth is infinite. Especially when you stay true to yourself. Your worth is on the inside.
We need to be mindful of who we listen to. Because they affect our opinions, our choices, our lives. Sometimes we don’t even realise what we’re absorbing and sometimes there are so many voices, we don’t know where to start. But above all, listen to your own voice, your own thoughts, your own desires. You’re the one who has to live your life. You need to enjoy it. And sometimes that will mean drowning out the noise of those close to you. Make decisions on your own terms. It might not be easy, but it will be worth it.
It’s exhausting constantly trying to fit in. It’s exhausting because there is no one-size-fits-all, yet we pretend there is. But think ahead to your later years, when you’re looking back at what you’ve done. Do you really want to look back on yourself trying to be someone else, whether succeeding or not? We all have our own passions and dreams, our own perspectives and opinions. They don’t have to fit in to be successful or satisfying. No, they don’t have to fit in, but you have to have the courage to breathe life into them. You’re going to have to live with yourself every second of every day. Why not make those seconds your seconds? Because in the end, whatever you do with them, they’ll be known as your seconds. Don’t waste them masquerading as someone else.
Some people are going to say that your ideas are stupid. Don’t listen to them. People ridiculed the idea that the earth revolved around the sun. The truth is, people tend to put down things they don’t understand or put down things that contradict their way of thinking. Don’t let that stop you from pursuing your ideas. We won’t ever move forward if we don’t think differently. Show those doubters, non-believers and haters. Switch on a lightbulb in the darkness they’re trying to shut you in.
We often mistakenly associate acts of courage with great leaders and heroes. We often forget that courage lies within each of us. Courage doesn’t need to be on a large scale. We don’t have to put our life in the balance to be courageous. And we don’t need to be strong all the time to be courageous. No, courage can simply be admitting how you feel. Courage can be refusing to live by other people’s rules. Courage can be letting go or holding on. Courage can be choosing not to give up. Courage can be realising that you are your own hero. And that courage within will most likely nurture someone else’s courage too. Don’t be afraid of yourself, who you are and how you feel. Own it.
We are constantly consuming, whether consciously or unintentionally. We listen to people’s thoughts and beliefs and we soak up different energies. We are inspired by the world around us and find examples in those we look up to. We take in people’s opinions and place their expectations on our shoulders. We are spurred into action by other people’s actions and words. They’re all influencing us and create our perspectives. We need to be aware of what we’re absorbing and what we’re overlooking, by how much and in what light. What we consume defines the courses we take.
Birdy’s captivating voice coupled with emotional lyrics make her single ‘Words as Weapons’ an inspirational treasure. Words are a lot more powerful than we give them credit for. They move people. They stay with people. They transcend generations. A simple phrase can lift someone up or tear them apart, drive a mass of people forward or hold them back. They heal and they scald. With those piercing, blistering, cruel words directed at us, we should take Birdy’s advice: to have no fear and to shed no tears. When we take control of how words affect us, that is when we triumph over the power the words possess. When we rise above them by valuing ourselves, when we ignore them by focusing on our own opinions, and when we do not allow them to push us down, we convert those words into fuel and passion. Don’t let the words trap you. You decide what’s best for you.
You use your words as a weapon dear, but your blades don’t hurt when you have no fear. You think that you’re deep under my skin, you’re trying to keep me suffering. If you use your words as a weapon, then as a weapon, I’ll shed no tears.