When we’re aware of what brings us down, we can let it go and watch ourselves rise up.
The energy outside affects the energy inside. People who complain all the time, people who blame you for their problems, people who bring you down, people who laugh at your dreams, people absorbed in their own worlds, people who always take and never give, these are all toxic people, if they do it consistently. People who do not add any love or joy to your life aren’t worth keeping. It isn’t selfish to cut them out, take a break, or limit the time you see them.
Other people’s opinions
We’re haunted by other people’s words, opinions and thoughts. Maybe we want to please someone. Maybe we think someone knows better. Maybe we feel we don’t have a choice. But if we’re never listening to our own heart, we’ll never feel truly satisfied, content or excited about life. We’ll add water to the seeds of regret, bitterness and misery. Do what makes you happy; even if it doesn’t always work out, at least you’re following your own path.
Self-limiting and self-doubt
Many of us struggle with low self-confidence. In fact, we could probably argue that it’s nowadays a part of life, at one stage or another. We’re afraid of failure. We punish ourselves for mistakes. We think we’re not good enough or bright enough or beautiful enough. But it’s all in our head. You are good enough. You have to find that belief, that faith, that courage buried inside and see how much your outlook changes.
Trying to fit in
Finding someone to talk about is an ancient pastime; we often gossip to fit in, to connect with a group of people and exclude someone else. On the flip side, we’re afraid to be that person who is excluded. We compare ourselves to others, always trying to erase the things that make us different. We focus on what’s ‘wrong’ with ourselves and what we don’t have. Trying to fit in breeds self-doubt and self-loathing, which leads to negativity. Instead try embracing and loving yourself and doing the same for others.
(Image: created myself)
We’ve all felt the urge to speak ill of others at one time or another. Sometimes we do it to feel better about ourselves. Sometimes we do it to fit in. Sometimes we do it out of frustration and anger. Sometimes we mean it and sometimes we don’t. But it’s still dangerous, for both ourselves and for others. It poisons the air with negativity that gets harder and harder to breathe. People won’t want to be around us and soon we won’t want to be around ourselves. It never does make us feel better, but makes others feel worse. It never does help us fit in, because what goes around comes around. Don’t kick someone down in efforts to give yourself a lift up. You’ll only find yourself further at the bottom somewhere else.
We cannot travel through life alone. But we need to make sure we choose to be around people who will guide us when we’ve lost our way, give us courage when we’re scared to move forward, and give us strength when we grow tired. We shouldn’t surround ourselves with people who constantly weigh us down or trip us up, no matter what excuses we make for them. You deserve to be surrounded by love. Don’t settle for something less.
(Image: The Flourish Studios Blog)
Many of us make the mistake that happiness can be found in material things. But they’re pretty immaterial in the grand scheme of things. Rather it is our relationships and the people we surround ourselves with that has the biggest impact on our happiness. People can lift us up and comfort us when we’re down. People can see the greatness within us, even when we cannot see it ourselves. People can make us feel comfortable and confident enough to be ourselves. People can celebrate our successes with us and forgive our mistakes. Find the people who can do this for you. Because you deserve happiness and good energy around you.
The people around us affect the energy around us. Some radiate. Others drain. Positivity, hope, strength, love all grow with radiators and wilt with drains. Who are you letting into your life? What energy consumes you? And who are you being for yourself and others? If we keep taking, from others and from ourselves, we’ll soon realise we have nothing anyway. If we keep giving, to others and to ourselves, we’ll soon find much more than we hoped to have.
How to judge someone’s character: Look at how they treat those who can’t give them anything. Look at how they treat those they don’t need or want anything from. Look at how they treat those in need of something. Do they treat them as equals? With respect and kindness? Do they help those who need it without expecting anything in the return? Or are they only interested in those who offer them something? The answers to these questions say a lot about a person.
You deserve to be treated with kindness and compassion. You deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. You deserve to be told the truth. You deserve to be cared for and attended to, but you also deserve your freedom and independence. You deserve to be appreciated and loved. You deserve to be who you are. Don’t let others treat you differently. Everyone deserves a second chance, but those who manipulate you, abuse you, ignore you, judge you or try to change you are not worth your time, your care, your love or your tears. Don’t waste it on them, but give your gift of kindness to someone who reciprocates.
I speak to everyone the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university ~ Albert Einstein
The number of people we cross paths with is infinite. We’ll never remember them all and they will never all remember us. But many will. And it’s important to recognise the imprint we leave them with. They won’t all be on the same level as us. They won’t all help us climb the ladder. They won’t all stay in our lives. But we should still treat everyone with the same level of respect, kindness and realness. Nobody deserves to be treated with disrespect, ignorance or arrogance. Let’s leave people with a warm feeling rather than a chill.
Some people will not say thank you, say well done or say congratulations. Some people will not acknowledge how hard we try, how much time we put in or how much we sacrifice. Some people will not accept us for who we are and will pick at our imperfections. Some people suck. But we don’t need them. We shouldn’t rely on others to validate what we do or who we are. We need to be that source of inspiration, encouragement and love for ourselves. We know who we are and decide what we do, and we don’t need anyone else to tell us that we’re beautiful, hardworking and loved. Don’t let anyone make you doubt yourself. Love yourself and believe in yourself.
Every time you touch another soul, let them take a piece of you with them. Every time you wipe a tear, listen attentively, lend a hand, shout encouragement, thank politely, stand up for someone and so on, you establish, reinforce and restore the cycle of kindness. You can brighten up someone’s day. You can be that one good thing in someone’s otherwise horrible day. And that makes all the difference. Kindness is a currency we can abundantly share and never run out of, that we all possess and all can use. And someone else will pass it on. Don’t be afraid to give it away. One day someone will pass it back to you at a time when you need it most, because someone else didn’t let the cycle break.