Our life isn’t always as bad as it seems inside our heads. Our opinions and emotions are nurtured by what we know and what we’ve seen. But if you were to look from the outside, what might you see? Would it be a bad life like the one we’ve conjured up in our heads? Or would it be a life to be grateful for? There are others looking in who envy your life, who are wishing for a life like yours, who are perhaps even fighting for it. Take a step back and let’s quit making it out to be so bad. Because it really isn’t. It could be worse. And there’s a lot going for you, for many of us.
(Image: We Heart It)
We’ve all felt the urge to speak ill of others at one time or another. Sometimes we do it to feel better about ourselves. Sometimes we do it to fit in. Sometimes we do it out of frustration and anger. Sometimes we mean it and sometimes we don’t. But it’s still dangerous, for both ourselves and for others. It poisons the air with negativity that gets harder and harder to breathe. People won’t want to be around us and soon we won’t want to be around ourselves. It never does make us feel better, but makes others feel worse. It never does help us fit in, because what goes around comes around. Don’t kick someone down in efforts to give yourself a lift up. You’ll only find yourself further at the bottom somewhere else.
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but don’t let it break you. Sometimes it feels like life is hitting us constantly, not even giving us time to get back up before hitting us down again. But there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. There is always a way out. There is always another path. Keep your eyes open or maybe take a look at things from a different perspective. Most of all, keep going, and you’ll get to wherever you want to be.
Tip One: Stop comparing yourself to others
It’s said time and time again, but we can’t seem to get away from it. But it’s so counter-productive! We’re all different. Some of us excel in certain things and some of us suck at them. We all have something we’re better at and worse at. We all in different stories, at different chapters, with equally beautiful endings. Start playing to your strengths and working on your weaknesses. Be better than you were yesterday, not better than the other person in the room.
Tip Two: Don’t just think it, say it
Thinking positively about yourself is harder than it sounds. But if we hear it, maybe we’ll start to listen. Stand in front of the mirror every morning and take a look at what you see. Let yourself know something you love about yourself and say it out loud. Or start the day with a positive affirmation out loud. It may feel weird at the beginning, but it will quickly sink in and transform your mindset.
Tip Three: Look at mistakes as spring boards
Failure and mistakes shouldn’t be looked at as the enemy. They’re actually the key to our success, but only if we act on them in the correct way. Instead of punishing yourself over mistakes you’ve made, focus on what you can learn from them and how you can use those teachings as fuel to greater success.
Tip Four: Gather some perspective
Sometimes we need to step out of our own heads and look at our situation from the outside. What would your friends say if they knew what you were saying about yourself? What would you say to a friend in a similar situation? Challenge yourself on the negative things you say to yourself and don’t be so hard on yourself. Most of the things we actually beat ourselves up on aren’t a big deal like we’re making them out to be.
Tip Five: Focus on solutions, not just problems
Sometimes we feel like we deserve the negative self-talk. But really it doesn’t do us any favours. When we talk negatively about ourselves, we’re often focusing too much on the problems instead of thinking about what we could do to solve them and thinking about the action. But focusing on the solutions will automatically move your mind to a positive space, and the problem won’t seem as bad.
Happiness is a state of mind. It isn’t something we can always hold onto. It’s ok to be down and feel low. Have faith that happiness can always be found again. If you believe it can, you won’t be afraid of sadness, because it’s also a state of mind. Sadness isn’t something you’ll always hold onto. It will pass.
We have been blessed in life and with life. It may not always feel like it. We get lost in the woods. We hit bumps in the road. We fall hard from a high. But look around you, look inside you. We all have the gift of living. We are all able to find our way back, to understand the ways of the road, to pick ourselves up again. Life isn’t all bad if we live it and learn from it and enjoy it in its entirety. There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Sometimes all we can do is make the best out of a bad situation. We cannot control what other people say or do, and that can negatively affect us. We cannot always predict where we’ll spend most of our time, and that can negatively infect us. As much as we want to let the bad situation take over, we have to try to find the piece of light in the darkness. There’s always something to be discovered, something to be learned, something to be enjoyed. We just have to teach ourselves to see it. Even if it’s a simple as realising you need a change.