Change can be unsettling. From leaving home for the first time to switching jobs to learning something new, change is unknown and uncomfortable.
I found out today that a colleague is moving on to another role. Not only am I coming to terms with the fact that I’ll be saying goodbye to a friendly face in the office, but it will mean taking on new responsibilities and adapting to a new workload. It’s unknown and uncomfortable for me – and I’m sure for my colleague too.
But change is also possibility, opportunity, destiny. It’s about new beginnings, making mistakes and learning from them. It’s where the magic glows and strength grows. We should always be changing, even if it’s just the little things like our route to work or morning routine. It keeps our minds active, receptive and thriving.
I’m going to be less afraid of it, and instead, embrace it.
When we’re aware of what brings us down, we can let it go and watch ourselves rise up.
The energy outside affects the energy inside. People who complain all the time, people who blame you for their problems, people who bring you down, people who laugh at your dreams, people absorbed in their own worlds, people who always take and never give, these are all toxic people, if they do it consistently. People who do not add any love or joy to your life aren’t worth keeping. It isn’t selfish to cut them out, take a break, or limit the time you see them.
Other people’s opinions
We’re haunted by other people’s words, opinions and thoughts. Maybe we want to please someone. Maybe we think someone knows better. Maybe we feel we don’t have a choice. But if we’re never listening to our own heart, we’ll never feel truly satisfied, content or excited about life. We’ll add water to the seeds of regret, bitterness and misery. Do what makes you happy; even if it doesn’t always work out, at least you’re following your own path.
Self-limiting and self-doubt
Many of us struggle with low self-confidence. In fact, we could probably argue that it’s nowadays a part of life, at one stage or another. We’re afraid of failure. We punish ourselves for mistakes. We think we’re not good enough or bright enough or beautiful enough. But it’s all in our head. You are good enough. You have to find that belief, that faith, that courage buried inside and see how much your outlook changes.
Trying to fit in
Finding someone to talk about is an ancient pastime; we often gossip to fit in, to connect with a group of people and exclude someone else. On the flip side, we’re afraid to be that person who is excluded. We compare ourselves to others, always trying to erase the things that make us different. We focus on what’s ‘wrong’ with ourselves and what we don’t have. Trying to fit in breeds self-doubt and self-loathing, which leads to negativity. Instead try embracing and loving yourself and doing the same for others.
(Image: created myself)
Sometimes we find it hard to set boundaries. We fall into bad patterns, succumb to bad habits, and end up blurring the lines. Sometimes we let our work lives encroach on our home lives. Sometimes we let our lack of confidence erase our record of successes. Sometimes we let people walk over us when we should be kicking them out our lives. But remember to keep maintaining those boundaries. They are what will keep us on the right track to happiness, what we want and what we deserve.
(Image: The Odyessey Online)
- Listening to someone’s worries and problems can be really therapeutic to the other person, as it lets them open up and release their anxieties.
- Check in with people who you know have been going through a rough time or who have been feeling lost, so they know they have a support system behind them.
- Say thank you to your parents, friends, colleagues, bus driver, barista, random strangers, anyone who helps you.
- Smiling goes a long way, for both ourselves and others. It can turn someone’s day around, make them feel more at ease, and pick them up.
- Complimenting someone instead of gossiping about someone not only boosts their self esteem, but it brings into focus the good rather than the bad.
- Open the door for someone, give up your seat for someone; they’re simple and effortless, but meaningful.
- Buy the meal for the stranger sitting in the same restaurant as you. Just think how their face will light up when they’re told they have nothing to pay on the bill!
- Buy a hot drink or hot food for the homeless person you pass by on your way somewhere. Everyone needs it, no matter what their story.
- Offer a service, whether it be babysitting the neighbour’s children, walking someone’s dog, reading to the elderly, tutoring a school kid, and so on.
- Donate the clothes, the furniture, the knick-knacks you don’t need anymore to your local charity shop. Or donate money to a cause you’re passionate about.
- Leave it a little surprise for someone, like some change in the laundromat or a note on the bathroom mirror. Paid for parking longer than expected? Give your ticket to someone just pulling into the car park.
- Bake some snacks (or just bring some snacks) into the office or for a group you attend.
- Support local businesses or start-ups in your area. We all have a dream and should support each other!
- Volunteer. It doesn’t matter what you do, just get out there and do it!
What would you add to this list?
(Image: Busy Being Jennifer)
We’ve all felt the urge to speak ill of others at one time or another. Sometimes we do it to feel better about ourselves. Sometimes we do it to fit in. Sometimes we do it out of frustration and anger. Sometimes we mean it and sometimes we don’t. But it’s still dangerous, for both ourselves and for others. It poisons the air with negativity that gets harder and harder to breathe. People won’t want to be around us and soon we won’t want to be around ourselves. It never does make us feel better, but makes others feel worse. It never does help us fit in, because what goes around comes around. Don’t kick someone down in efforts to give yourself a lift up. You’ll only find yourself further at the bottom somewhere else.
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but don’t let it break you. Sometimes it feels like life is hitting us constantly, not even giving us time to get back up before hitting us down again. But there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. There is always a way out. There is always another path. Keep your eyes open or maybe take a look at things from a different perspective. Most of all, keep going, and you’ll get to wherever you want to be.
We waste too much time worrying over little things and crying about trivial things. And we lose out on time we could be spending enjoying life because of it. Something might seem like the end of the world today but we probably won’t even remember it later on. If you find yourself feeling down about something that won’t matter in five years, don’t spend more than five minutes being sad about it. Something better is round the corner.