Many of us are scared to be alone with our thoughts. We’re scared of what they might say and how they might make us feel. We’re so plugged in and invested in other people’s worlds, but neglect out own. Here’s three reasons to tune into what’s going on inside your head.
Reason One: Find solutions
When we listen to our thoughts and emotions, it’s likely that we’ll shed light on insecurities, anxieties and fears. But don’t be afraid. Instead of burying them away, we can actually face them and find ways to conquer them. We’ll see they’re not untameable. We’ll start to untangle the problems and find ways to overcome them.
Reason Two: Set direction
When we get in touch with our thoughts and emotions, we begin to understand where we want to go. Sometimes we wander aimlessly because we’re lost. Sometimes we find ourselves walking a path because we’re following someone else. We’re not really thinking about what we want and where we want to go. But if you actually do take the time to think and listen, and you follow what your heart is saying, you’ll never be steered wrong.
Reason Three: Realise who you are
When we tune into our thoughts and emotions, we drown out the noise around us and find out who we are. That might be someone who doesn’t care what people think. That might be someone who stands up for what they believe in. That might be someone who sees things differently. Whoever you are, you don’t need to lock them away. Find out what you like and don’t like, where you want to go and what you want to do.
(Image: Kreesha Turner)
Tip One: Stop comparing yourself to others
It’s said time and time again, but we can’t seem to get away from it. But it’s so counter-productive! We’re all different. Some of us excel in certain things and some of us suck at them. We all have something we’re better at and worse at. We all in different stories, at different chapters, with equally beautiful endings. Start playing to your strengths and working on your weaknesses. Be better than you were yesterday, not better than the other person in the room.
Tip Two: Don’t just think it, say it
Thinking positively about yourself is harder than it sounds. But if we hear it, maybe we’ll start to listen. Stand in front of the mirror every morning and take a look at what you see. Let yourself know something you love about yourself and say it out loud. Or start the day with a positive affirmation out loud. It may feel weird at the beginning, but it will quickly sink in and transform your mindset.
Tip Three: Look at mistakes as spring boards
Failure and mistakes shouldn’t be looked at as the enemy. They’re actually the key to our success, but only if we act on them in the correct way. Instead of punishing yourself over mistakes you’ve made, focus on what you can learn from them and how you can use those teachings as fuel to greater success.
Tip Four: Gather some perspective
Sometimes we need to step out of our own heads and look at our situation from the outside. What would your friends say if they knew what you were saying about yourself? What would you say to a friend in a similar situation? Challenge yourself on the negative things you say to yourself and don’t be so hard on yourself. Most of the things we actually beat ourselves up on aren’t a big deal like we’re making them out to be.
Tip Five: Focus on solutions, not just problems
Sometimes we feel like we deserve the negative self-talk. But really it doesn’t do us any favours. When we talk negatively about ourselves, we’re often focusing too much on the problems instead of thinking about what we could do to solve them and thinking about the action. But focusing on the solutions will automatically move your mind to a positive space, and the problem won’t seem as bad.
Do not worry about what might be. Don’t worry about things that haven’t happened yet. There’s no way for us to see what our future will look like. It will have ups and downs, but it will be ok in the end. Worry about what might be will only darken what is right in front of you. Especially because it might not even happen. You can battle your problems when they come. Enjoy the time you have now.
It’s easy to get wrapped up in problems, in heartache, and in hardship. But they don’t need to define our life, even if they are a daily burden. Dreams and hopes coupled with perseverance are where the future lies, and happiness too. Let those guide you, revive you and empower you, especially in the tougher times. Don’t let the tough times get the best of you.
When your ride gets thrown off track, it can be overwhelming. Perhaps something has turned your life upside down. Perhaps things have been piling up and weighing you down. Either way, it can feel like there’s no way out. We’ve got to strip it back down to basics. First of all, remind yourself that everything will be ok. Then, remember everything you’ve still got. Next, slowly pull yourself out of the wreckage. Finally, repeat all the above until you’re back on track. The journey might not be the same, but it will still be the ride of your life.
Don’t be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Quote of the day.
The grass is always greener on the other side. But if you get to the other side, that doesn’t mean your grass will be greener. Because it’s an illusion. People’s lives may seem better to us, but that’s because we’re on the outside looking in. Everyone has problems or weaknesses or hardships, just like we do. We need to focus on our own life and work on our own life, instead of comparing it to others. If we’re too busy look at next door’s grass, then ours is only going to suffer. Appreciate what is right at your feet. If everyone looks after their grass, think what a beautiful world it will be.
If we want to achieve and succeed, we should stop looking around for someone else to give us the instructions, the expectations and the answers. Sure, there are useful tips and tricks that we can learn from others; we can ask questions, seek advice, observe them. But we shouldn’t be trying to be a replica of them, because all we’ll end up becoming is a shadow. We have our own gifts to offer and talents to share. We can create our own rules, build our own set of expectations, and find our own answers to our own problems. We don’t need to follow in someone else’s path. We don’t need to compare our journey to anyone else’s. We don’t need to do what everyone else is doing.
Sometimes we have to push ourselves. And sometimes we have to pay the price. Stress isn’t all bad; it can spark our mind and body into action in response to a problem or situation. But high levels of stress can have the opposite effect, causing our mind and body to shut down in isolation, fear, lethargy, anger, and depression. Stress shouldn’t ever be a positive indicator to demonstrate how hard we’re working. Stress shouldn’t ever become a shadow that haunts us. It’s much more valuable to look after ourselves. It’s ok to take a breath to sit, to think, to re-prioritise, to re-energise. We’re designed to need a rest. It’s ok to admit that we cannot do everything. We cannot place these pressures on ourselves. It doesn’t make us weak or incapable. Stress will make us weak and incapable in the long term. Don’t let it break you.
Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny – C S Lewis