Sometimes we think we have to do it all on our own in order to do well. But there’s no shame in having someone to catch you when you fall, to offer you words of wisdom, or to give you a hand. There is a difference between support and reliance. To rely on someone is to depend on them. And there may be times when we need that. But we can still be independent and self-made with support. We don’t have to do it all alone to be strong and successful. The more people we have rooting for us, the higher we’ll go.
Nobody who has braved and fought a battle comes away unscarred, even those who are victorious and especially those who have fallen. But our scars are not a mark of shame but a mark of strength, whether victorious or fallen. They symbolise the strength we have within and the strength we have to come. We heal from our wounds as long as we don’t keep reopening them. Keep your scars as a reminder, not a burden.
It’s tempting to lock away our past, our sorrows, our mistakes. But we shouldn’t hang onto them like a burden. We shouldn’t be ashamed of them at all. If we try to bury them too far, they begin to pollute us from the inside and eventually overpower us. But if we slowly set them free, let them go or accept them for what they are, we can be free too. They’ll no longer define us, but guide us. They can serve more purpose than we realise.
In the height of battle, we are sometimes wounded. And that can linger both physically and mentally. But we shouldn’t ever feel ashamed of our scars. Each points to a pivotal moment in our journey. Each tells a story of endurance. Each is a symbol of strength. Each marks our triumph against that which tried to pull us back and hold us down. We should feel proud of our scars as much as we are proud of our accomplishments. They make up who we are today. Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls.
We all feel shame at one time or another. We’re moulded to tread the fine line between right and wrong carefully. In many ways, shame illustrates our humanity; it encourages us to admit our wrongdoings, to apologise and to try and make amends. Shame should more of a stepping stone than a heavy boulder. But there are many things we should never have to apologise for, even if society deems it unacceptable. We shouldn’t ever feel ashamed of how much money we have, where we live or what we do for a living. We shouldn’t ever feel ashamed of our friends or family. We shouldn’t ever feel ashamed of the past or how we feel. We shouldn’t ever feel ashamed of who we are, no matter how many quirky, flawed parts dwell inside us. This kind of shame should be a rock we toss in the water. Don’t let shame tear you apart. Let it go and just be you.
We all have those parts of ourselves that we are ashamed of and insecure about, that we try to hide away or change about ourselves, whether physical or emotional. This anxiety and self-loathing grows from our tendency to want to be synonymous with others and our need to belong and be accepted. Why is this? Why can’t we see that our differences do not divide us but make us stronger? We all have different goals, different purposes, different backgrounds that shape who we are. We should not need to sculpt ourselves to fit the mould.
We all have those redeeming parts of ourselves; those that we despise may be the parts that someone else craves. We all have parts of ourselves that others respect and admire. Those parts should not be valued any higher than those parts we might be scared to show, those parts we hide away, or those parts we want to change. Face and embrace every part of yourself. Face and unfold every part of yourself. Face and improve every part of yourself. Whatever we are ashamed of or insecure about can be changed not through revising but learning and cultivating, not through modifying but accepting and owning it. All our differences and imperfections are beautiful.